Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
