I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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