You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
