Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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