Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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