Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
