We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
