i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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