It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
