Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i need some magic done to my vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
