last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
