Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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