there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
