Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
