I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
