Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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