I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
