Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
