Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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