Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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