i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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