I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
