Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
True strength comes from lack of pants
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
