I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
