But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
