If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
