Someone shit on the floor
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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