i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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