I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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