he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
