DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
