You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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