I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
