this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
