i just google imaged poop.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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