As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
