All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
