That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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