the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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