she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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