oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
