Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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