Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
