i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
