its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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