paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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