matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
