I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
