I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
