Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
